The Ridiculous Expectation of Perfection

Posted on April 14, 2012 by Dr. Amy

Sometimes I notice that I need to have someone beat me over the head with an obvious point before I get it. This week I had one such “aha!” moment. Now, when I tell you about it you’re going to laugh because it’s so obvious, but it was still an “aha” for me. Let me tell you the story:

Wednesday was my day off and I had a contract research project lined up and then some loose ends to tie up with business.  Also I’d agreed to a meeting at People’s Rx at noon because it was the only day that worked for everyone else. I woke up that morning to find out my refrigerator was pretty obviously room temperature.  I ran to the store for ice, grabbed the cooler and started to try to save the meat in the freezer etc… Water was leaking into the bottom of the fridge so I mopped that and the floor, and while I was in there I cleaned out the rest of the fridge. I ended up running to the meeting in jeans and a tee.

At the meeting I remember apologizing profusely for the way I was dressed and hurrying through the fridge story.  Both of the wonderful women I was meeting with gave me the look and told me (in no uncertain terms) that I was there on my day off. Full stop.  I was already going out of my way to help, the idea that I should have also dressed up for it was off of everyone’s radar but mine.  This all just sailed by me because I was busy feeling guilty for not doing better.

The fridge fiasco bumped my whole schedule that day so in the afternoon while I was waiting for the repair guy, I was also putting together that research project. I was running behind on everything and ended up having to skip a women’s group that I had really been looking forward to. It’s a great group of women who meet to support and inspire each other and it’s a wonderful gift to myself to go.  Instead of being disappointed that I was missing out, I felt guilty for possibly letting those women down. Are you seeing the pattern here?

When my repair guy finally showed up I realized I’d been so wrapped up in this research project that I hadn’t really been able to do anything about the food and random fridge contents that were strewn all over the kitchen.  When the repair guy showed up I apologized to him for the mess, and he too gave me the look. He said “I’m here because your fridge is broken, I was kind of expecting it to look like the fridge is broken.” Which is a damn good point.

It was right about now that I noticed the trend (a little slow on the uptake, right?). Everything I did on this particular day (and most days of my life) fell far short of my expectations.  Not because I was doing so poorly, but because my expectations were so ridiculously  unreasonable.  I was  creating a tremendous amount of stress and negativity in my life simply by being unreasonable.   It made sense in my head that I should have a spotless house, all work performed on schedule and be dressed to the nines, on my day off in the midst of an unavoidable frige-related snafu.

It’s not that hard to look at the rest of my life and see the same trend – my expectations for myself are always oerly high.  I am entirely without compassion for myself as a human, which is ridiculous because my whole livelihood is based on being a compassionate person. It just seems so much more difficult to apply this compassion to myself, and it shouldn’t be. So what do I do about it?  I honestly don’t know.  I think a lot of it comes down to awareness. The more I can notice myself and how out of touch with reality my expectations are, the more I can ease up on myself and take a step back.

This will be a long-term project for me, because the more I think about it the more I realize that my entire life has been colored by my own ridiculous idea of perfection. It’s amazing when I think about it. If this whole thing is ringing any bells for you then join me and start to notice when you give yourself the guilt feeling. Remember, nobody else is giving you the guilt feeling – that’s all you. Try to picture how you would respond if it was your very favorite person on earth doing the exact same thing that’s making you guilty. Chances are you wouldn’t be nearly so hard on them.  This will be my project for a while so if any of you catch me apologizing for something that is totally reasonable then please give me the look and remind me to be kind to myself, I’d appreciate it. And if you’re doing the guilt thing too, then please be gentle with yourself – you deserve it.

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Food is Not The Enemy

Posted on March 15, 2012 by Dr. Amy

I love it when people are dedicated to health and healing and I love to see people who are committed to making changes in their lifestyle.  That is such a treat for me because it’s inspiring to watch people begin to make their health a priority. What I don’t love to see is people who start to view the world as a hostile place in which every pleasure, every food, everything fun has to be restricted to maintain their health. Instead of valuing themselves and their lives enough to make positive changes, they seem to saddle themselves with more and more restrictions, more and more guilt and even more ways to be disappointed, fail or not measure up.

This is such a double edged sword.  It’s so easy to slide from one side to the other, and so hard to really be honest with yourself at least it is for me. I feel like culturally there is a part of us that wants everything to be difficult and threatening and a question of “right” or “wrong,” “good” or “bad.” It’s part of our makeup.  Maybe something about being over-achievers or having protestant guilt or watching too much terror-based media.  Who knows?  It doesn’t matter so much where it comes from, but what matters is not getting caught up in the negative cycle of breaking yourself down instead of building yourself up.

Which Side of The Fence Are You On?

Guilting and restricting yourself into eating well is a really normal thing to do – mostly because it works.  We guilt ourselves into lots of things, why not this too?  It appeals to that basic sense of duty and allows us to have an excuse to really punish ourselves and get into old familiar patterns of self-depreciation and self-blame.  This is totally comfortable ground for a lot of the women I know, and sadly I’m seeing more and more men who feel at home here as well.  This is the place where you can say “obviously I messed up and all of these bad things that are happening are my own fault because I’m just not a good enough person.”  Or something that sounds a lot like that.  The somewhat more direct version of that is “wow I’m an idiot.  Of course I’m fat/sick/tired – it’s because I’m lazy/worthless/unlovable/not good enough.”  Has anybody heard these words in their brain before? Or an even less kind version?

It’s like we all have this streak of unkindness towards ourselves that has somehow become socially “normal” or at least common enough to pass for it.  We all work so hard to be nice to everyone around us, caring, compassionate and concerned for their problems and forgiving and generous about their mistakes. But make a mistake of our own and hoo-boy does the kindness ever dry up in a hurry. We have this crazy double standard of perfection for ourselves and compassion for everyone else.

If we take one bite of that cookie or one sip of that beer with the dreaded gluten or miss a day of meditation or skip a yoga class then all hell breaks loose and suddenly we’re the worst people in the world.  And you know what that makes you want to do? Eat the rest of the batch of cookies, drink the whole damn six pack and lie on the couch and watch movies all day.  Right?  Because you’re bad already so why not just keep it up?

Stopping The Madness

Here’s the reality.  Sometimes the absolute best thing for you as a whole person – body mind and spirit – really is to have a cookie. Really.  Even if it’s not in your plan or you’re not supposed to eat it or whatever.  Here’s the rest of the reality – most of the time the absolute best thing for you is to not have that cookie. And when I look at the words I just wrote, I can see how things get confusing and why everyone wants simple rules. So lets try this:

Feel Your Food Before You Eat It

Whenever you are going to eat something, even if it’s a bite of something while you’re running around doing other things, I want you to stop and think about what this food is going to give you.  Try this for a few days and see what you think.

  1. Take a couple of deep breaths and try to feel yourself settle into your belly a little bit.  Just feel how your body feels from the inside.
  2. Look at that food you were just about to eat.  Just look at it.
  3. Think of all those new cells you’re going to make out of this food – new heart cells, new muscle cells, new skin cells, new liver cells, even the cells in your hair and nails.
  4. Is the food in your hand what you want those cells to be made out of? Will that food make good, strong, healthy, beautiful cells?
  5. Will that food make you vibrantly happy enough that it doesn’t matter about the cells?
  6. Now – do you want to eat that food?
  7. If the answer is yes – then go for it.  You just made a big, conscious decision and you can stick to it.  If the answer is no, then it’s no. Don’t eat it.
  8. Whatever your decision – don’t second guess it.  You made that decision because it was worth it to you in some way, and that’s really what matters.
  9. At the end of the day be happy that you made all of your food decisions consciously.  Eating well isn’t about restricting yourself to the point of monk-hood.  It’s about doing what is absolutely right for you, always.

If your indulgences don't make you feel like this, then wait for one that does. This is me loving the heck out of a butter-drenched-lobster.

As you may notice this requires all of your eating to be conscious.  No more grabbing a handful of whatever on your way through the kitchen, or picking up a krispy kreme out of the box someone brought to work every time you pass by the water cooler.  Sure – you may pick up the doughnut, but then you have to sit with it and figure out if you want to eat it.  It’s easy to do that once, but much harder to do that every 20 minutes. This is a great way to actually be present with your food and with your choices.  Sure – there are times when you’ll choose to eat the whatever-it-is.  And that’s great! That means that eating that brought you so much joy that it was totally worth it.  There will also be lots of times when you pass on the whatever-it-is because cells made out of ho-hos just doesn’t sound very good.

Here’s the other part to this.  When you start to hear your mind go down those old familiar pathways, try something new. Look at yourself and your decisions as though it was your best friend in the world doing it.  Would you treat him or her the way you treat yourself? Would you ever be so mean to him or her? Lets just lighten up and give ourselves the same love we give to the people we love.  Because ‘self’ is on the list of people we love, right?

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Ho’oponopono – Letting Go of Emotional Baggage

Posted on February 25, 2012 by Dr. Amy

There’s been a buzz lately  about ho’oponopono, and anytime that happens it usually means something is working for people.  In this came, that something is ho’oponopono – a tremendously powerful technique for letting go of guilt, regrets and emotional baggage in general (also a fun word to throw around in conversation).

Ho'opononpono makes your world a more beautiful place

Ho’oponopono is an ancient Hawaiian practice of forgiveness and reconciliation that can be used to transform your relationships with others, with yourself, with the universe.  It is a powerful but simple way of changing the way you feel about past wrongs that have been done, relationships that have gone astray or areas of tension in your life.  It seems that there are many ways to do ho’oponopono, but here is a simple one:

Practicing Ho’oponopono:

  • Sit in a comfortable position and take a few deep, cleansing breaths fully in and out trying to breathe to the bottom of your lungs.
  • Create a mental picture of a person with whom you have had tension, strife, conflict or discord.  Alternately you can picture yourself, your idea of god or a creator, or the world at large.
  • Picture beautiful bright white light flowing from you to the mental image you have created
  • Say the following prayer/mantra/statement from your heart:

I am Sorry

Please Forgive Me

I love You

Thank You

  • Keep saying it until you feel something shift (usually when I feel something shift I cry, or my eyes water, or I feel a sense of lightness).
  • Smile – you’re done!

Why Use Ho’oponopono?

Here’s the thing.  Healing happens in a lot of mysterious ways, but one thing that has become clear in my practice over the last decade is that deep healing only really happens when you feel right with yourself and your world.  Sure, if you break your arm ho’oponopono isn’t going to help much.  But if you have a deeper condition – something chronic, or long-term – then it’s important to do all of the basic personal care things. This means good nutrition, good sleep, good exercise and good mental/emotional space.  I know, it’s a revolutionary and fringe idea within mainstream medicine, but it’s also common sense.  Why would your body ever heal if your emotions, mind and subconscious are always in turmoil or if you are sending nothing but hatred, harm and negativity towards your own body?

Ho’oponopono can be a simple yet powerful way to start transforming your relationships with yourself and with others.  If you are struggling with a chronic illness why not do ho’opononpono for your body?  Towards a mental picture of your illness?  Towards god if you’re angry in that direction?  There is no wrong way to use this tool so anything you can do to change your relationships with your mental and emotional self, the people in your life, or the universe is a good thing.

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Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes (And How To Cope With Them)

Posted on February 13, 2012 by Dr. Amy

So the big news – my office is moving.  Woohoo!  I’m joining with People’s Rx, which is great and exciting and a whole lot of work. While this (like most change) is ultimately a great thing, it can also be a hard thing for us humans to do. The bottom line is that change is scary and difficult, even when it’s great and wonderful and something you’re looking forward to – it’s just the way we’re wired. Keeping things the same makes us feel safe and secure and comfortable, even if it’s not ideal. Changing, even if it’s a change for the better, is new and different and therefore scary. I think this explains the bulk of unsatisfying relationships, jobs and circumstances out there.

People's Rx - Austin's Favorite Pharmacy

This is a great reminder to me to support my own system and take better care of me through this process, so I thought I’d share with you some of the things that I do to make transition easier.  These are just great things that you can do for yourself in any situation of higher stress or anxiety to help keep your body balanced and avoid getting sick or worn out.

The self-care list:

  1. Eat.  I know it sounds really silly, but when things get ultra stressful this is one of the ways it shows.  Most people fall into one of two camps – the forget-to-eaters and the eat-for-comforters. Neither of these patterns is great, so lets try to meet in the middle and eat regularly, balanced meals.  It’s so much harder than it sounds but so worth it.
  2. Sleep.  Yet another ridiculously obvious step, and yet sleep falls to the bottom of the priority list when everything else is happening.  I know if there’s a time crunch sleep can be hard to come by, but really try to take time and if you can’t get big solid blocks of sleep then make time for quick naps.
  3. Take 5.  It’s so easy to get into the running-around-in-circles mode where you’re moving really fast but maybe not getting too much done.  The best cure for that is actually just sitting still.  Take five minutes (I set a timer) and sit down and relax.  Take a few deep breaths, don’t get caught up in your thoughts, just let your mind drift and let your body get heavy and relaxed.  It’s amazing how much clearer everything is when you get back up to do stuff. The more stressed I am, the more often I try to take a five minute break, it just pops your mind out of that horrible hectic place and makes the time when I’m working that much more productive.
  4. Easy On The Coffee. It’s so easy to just keep reaching for the coffee or tea or sugar or soda or whatever you use to keep your energy going.  Here’s the thing – when you’re pumping yourself up with all of that you’re not listening to what your body actually needs and your true limits.  It’s a lot like whipping a dead horse (as the saying goes). Resist the urge to over-stimulate and just listen to your body’s natural limits.
  5. Don’t Take Yourself So Seriously.  Seriously.  The great thing about life is that really when it all comes down to it, none of the stuff we torture ourselves with really matters much.  At the end of the day the really important stuff is not what most of us spend most of our time doing.  One of my favorite quotes is from Bertrand Russell, who said “One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” Really, when you stop and think about it, nobody is going to die if it doesn’t get done today.
  6. Be Okay with Being Uncomfortable About Change. This sounds hard, but is actually pretty easy.  Change is uncomfortable and that’s true for most people.  It can take over your life, or it can just be there in the background, not really doing much.  I’ve always found that the best strategy to help an emotion loosen up is to just sit with it and look at it and acknowledge it for a while.  Just let yourself be uncomfortable and scared and freak out and it all just kind of goes away on it’s own.  If you try to pretend that it’s not there, well, that’s a whole different problem but in my experience it makes it that much worse.
  7. Focus on the Benefits.  Things are changing for a reason and no matter what the change good is going to come of it.  So remember that.  Write out a list of the perks of this change (even if it wasn’t a change that you wanted).  Write down everything that’s good about it and every time you get freaked out and frustrated, read through your list and help yourself remember why you’re doing this.
  8. Ask for Backup. We’re social animals and any problem is easier if you can talk to someone about it.  They don’t have to have any great ideas or solutions or even really say much about it – it just helps to have someone that you can talk to and rant a little and vent some angst.  Family, friends, partners, support groups, counselors – whatever.  I don’t think it much matters who, it just matters that you talk about it.
  9. Do Things That Relax You. Take time for you and do the things that help you stay balanced.  For me it’s going for walks outside, or a yoga class, or a hot bath.  For you it could be something totally different but try to squeeze in something that brings you peace into every day. It’s easy to say you don’t have the time, but this will help to keep you sane (which seems like a bonus).

Transition is hard, but can be a whole lot easier if you support your body through the process… Just don’t forget to take time for you.

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Flowers for Joy.

Posted on January 18, 2012 by Dr. Amy

I have to say I love it when science verifies something women have known all along: Flowers make us happy.  Not just in a temporary way but in a real, sustainable way. Isn’t it amazing that something so simple can have such a big impact?  The study, conducted at Rutgers, was a resounding success showing that the mere presence of flowers initiates happy feelings, enhances feelings of life satisfaction and even changes social behavior.  All this from a simple bloom.

Don't you feel better already?

The study, which lasted ten months, had several major findings:

  1. Everyone, regardless of age or gender, is universally delighted by flowers.  When you receive flowers, you smile.  Simple!
  2. Flowers don’t just improve your mood short-term, they have long-term effects. Study participants reported feeling less depressed, anxious and agitated after receiving flowers and were able to experience more enjoyment and a greater sense of satisfaction with their lives.
  3. The presence of flowers actually caused people to connect more intimately with other people. Study participants with flowers in the room contacted family and friends more frequently than those without flowers.

    You can't help but smile, right?

So what does this all mean?  Simple! Have more flowers.  You can use them when you know you need a boost, or make them a simple staple of your life for a more joyful home or work environment.  This doesn’t have to break the budget – in fact flowers can be easy to afford.  Most florists and even grocery stores will sell a single stem for a couple of dollars and they can generally suggest the most long-lived varieties.  The study never said it has to be a massive bouquet – just a small flower in a bud vase will do it. I think keeping flowers in the house for 2012 is a great idea.  Some can come from the garden, some from the store but all of them will be joyful.

I couldn't resist one last shot...

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Best. Christmas. Cookies. Ever. And Eggnog for Breakfast – Yipee!

Posted on December 21, 2011 by Dr. Amy

In light of all the bad news, tragedy, stress and strife lately, I figured we all (myself included) need a dose of holiday happiness and nothing in the world does that better than awesome Christmas cookies (or holiday cookies if you prefer) that are just as good when they’re gluten free.  This is a Czech recipe – thanks to my dad’s side of the family – that has a very simple flavor and a melt in your mouth texture.  I’ve never been able to eat just one – I just keep nibbling every time I pass by.

It can be festivus and christmas at the same time, right?

Czech Butter Cookies:

Ingredients:

  1. 1 1/4 cup organic butter
  2. 5 tablespoons sugar
  3. 2 egg yolks (organic)
  4. 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  5. 2 2/3 cups flour – all purpose if you’re not gluten free, and Bob’s Red Mill All Purpose Baking Mix if you are.

Method:

Preheat oven to 375*. Cream together butter, sugar, egg yolks and vanilla.  Add in the flour and mix thoroughly. Shape into balls and press to flatten or force through a cookie press onto an ungreased baking sheet. Bake for 10-15 minutes if using regular flour and a few minutes longer if using gluten free. The cookies will be slightly golden around the edges but not brown at all.  They’re like a light, fluffy, buttery shortbread. Yummm.

If you want some variety you can always press nut pieces, candied fruit, or whatever you like on to the top of the cookies for a little variety, but try them plain first – the melt-in-your-mouth part is the best.

*Note: When I use Bob’s Red Mill Gluten Free All Purpose Baking Mix I make sure the cookies are totally done.  I’d rather they were overdone than underdone.  This flour mix is made from a variety of ingredients but it’s pretty heavy on the bean flours – which is great because it’s high protein and high fiber, but if the cookies aren’t cooked all the way through then there’s a subtle bean flavor that I don’t like.  The great news is that it disappears completely as long as you cook the cookies through so just take one out when they look right and let it cool and taste-test before you take the rest of them out of the oven.

Eggnog for breakfast:

So – eggnog is possibly the best thing in the universe and I’m going to give you two recipes. One is for straight-up holiday greatness eggnog with alcohol. The other is for a morning smoothie that is pretty darn close to the real thing (but might go over better at work if you don’t put rum in it).

Traditional Eggnog:

Ingredients:

  1. 3/4 cup organic milk
  2. 1/4 cup organic cream
  3. 1 organic egg
  4. 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  5. 1 tablespoon maple syrup
  6. 1 jigger spiced rum (or brandy, irish cream or kahlua if you prefer)

Method:

Add everything to your blender and blend until it’s smooth, creamy and delicious.  Drink liberally over the holidays. Also if you like a little more flavor to it you can add nutmeg, cinnamon, pumpkin pie spices or Chinese five spice to the mix.

Healthy Breakfast Eggnog Smoothie:

Ingredients:

  1. 1 scoop vanilla protein powder
  2. 1 scoop benefiber or citriclear unflavored fiber powder that mixes clear
  3. 1 1/2 cup organic milk
  4. 1/4 cup organic cream
  5. 1 tablespoon flax oil
  6. 2 organic eggs
  7. 1/2 frozen banana
  8. 1 teaspoon rum flavor (or just use the rum if it’s going to be that kind of a day)
  9. 1 tablespoon maple syrup if needed (usually the protein powder and banana make it sweet enough)
  10. Nutmeg, cinnamon, allspice, pumpkin pie spice or Chinese five spice if you like a little bit of warm, spicy flavor in your nog.  I like a mix of cinnamon and nutmeg for mine…

Method:

Just dump it all in the blender and let it go! There’s not so much liquid so it will be pretty thick and creamy once it’s done. This smoothie is so rich and creamy and delicious you’ll swear it’s more like custard than anything else. It’s ridiculously delicious and great for you!

Happy Holidays Everyone and Here’s to a Happy, Healthy, Prosperous 2012.

With love from Dr. Amy.

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Brains! They Eat Brains!

Posted on December 16, 2011 by Dr. Amy

I am a huge fan of neti pots, simply because they *work.* They’re fast and inexpensive and easy to use and generally safe, except for lately.  Unfortunately a second death has been linked to neti pot use, in what sounds like a B-rated zombie movie plot because yes – they eat brains.

This is a screenshot from the game Plants vs. Zombies, by PopCap. I couldn't resist a little levity.

The highly science-fiction sounding brain-eating amoeba, or Naegleria fowleri, is common in lakes and rivers but happily for us, rarely has access to people’s brains.  Unfortunately, pouring a bunch of it directly into the nose gives this opportunistic amoeba a good chance to set in and cause a brain infection, which is life-threatening, called encephalitis. There have been reports of children dying after jumping in these lakes and rivers (presumably getting the infected water up their noses and hence allowing the amoeba brain access.) But the most recent deaths were actually from infected tap water used in neti pots. Both neti pot related deaths were in Louisianna which prompted to Louisiana Department of Health and Hopitals to issue a statement urging people to use distilled or filtered water in their neti pots.

This brings up a great point about the importance of good neti pot hygiene simply because you are actually putting something directly inside your skull, so it’s good to take care to do it properly.  It is not that neti pots are dangerous or unsafe, it is just that medically it’s important not to introduce any foreign bacteria, chemicals, viruses or amoeba inside of your delicate tissues.

Here are some steps to safe neti pot use:

  1. Always use filtered or distilled water as a base for your neti pot solution. If those are unavailable make sure you boil the water you are going to use and let it cool to room temperature.
  2. Thoroughly clean your neti pot and allow it to dry completely between each use.  Ceramic neti pots are typically dishwasher safe, but the squeeze bottle type, which is soft plastic,  has to be scrubbed.  Allowing it to dry completely ensures that no water-loving amoeba will survive.
  3. Use premixed salt packets or a simple solution of 1/4 teaspoon table salt, 8 oz filtered or distilled water and 1/4 teaspoon baking soda if you find that the plain salt solution burns your nose a little.  Do not add anything else to the solution, even if it’s a “healthy” thing, unless directed to do so by your doctor.

These are all simple and logical steps, but when you’re rushing around in the morning routine it’s easier to just fill the neti pot with tap water than anything else so please, for the sake of fewer zombie jokes, use distilled.  Brain-eating anything is pretty serious.  Also exercise some caution when swimming this summer and try to avoid water-up-the-nose type activities like belly flops and cannonballs. The brain-eating amoeba likes warm waters in warm Southern climates and for anybody local – this is a warm Southern climate.

Symptoms of Naegleria Encephalopathy:

  • Headache
  • Neck Stiffness
  • Fever
  • Nausea
  • Vomiting
  • Confusion
  • Lack of Reactivity
  • Hallucinations
  • Seizures

Sadly, this infection is almost universally fatal. There is only one known person who has survived so please – use safe water in your neti pot.

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Life is Short – Celebrate!

Posted on December 12, 2011 by Dr. Amy

I wish I could say that the inspiration for this post is a happy one, but it’s anything but.  I found out today that three colleagues, two of whom were dear friends from graduate school, have passed away recently.  Eli was a completely hilarious, quick witted, sarcastic man who kept everyone around him laughing and would go out of his way to make people happy.  Susan was a beautiful, vibrant woman who was somewhat quiet and always smiley but when she did speak up it was always with something unexpectedly funny that would take everyone by surprise.  She was one of the kindest, warmest people I’ve met. Stacey was in school after I was, but we worked together and I was impressed by her positivity and drive.

These three were all young (30s and 40s), vibrant, and did everything for their health. They had great relationships, children, careers and busy lives. I don’t think any of them would have anticipated leaving the world so early. I can’t begin to fathom that they are gone.

As I sit in my house, surrounded by my stuff and reminders of the things that normally weight heavily on my mind I am struck by the sheer madness of my entire existence.  That I am here and whole and healthy is such a miracle – such a gift.  I feel so ashamed at the amount of time I waste worrying about things that don’t matter. When I look around today, after learning of these three deaths, my worries are so trivial and tiny and neurotic.  I have everything I need, I have wonderful friends, amazing family, a house I love and good food on the table. What does the rest of it matter? Where is there any kind of problem?

I’m also ashamed of  the time I waste doing things that don’t truly make a difference in the end.  Sure it’s a good idea to make sure my business keeps running and my house is in good repair. But what about the time I fritter away on the internet or with some kind of escapism like TV or movies or books?  Doesn’t that just amount to watching other people live instead of living myself? There is nothing like the stark reality of death to make a whole bunch of silliness just fall away.

This also throws light on the social and emotional stuff that can become issues in my head but are utterly meaningless.  How many times have I not called a dear friend because I was too busy or had to get one more thing done at work? How many people have I failed to keep in touch with, or not shown my feelings for  – for some ridiculous reason like laziness or shyness or inconvenience.  How many activities and events have I missed because there was something that really needed doing, or work, or I was so tired from work that I couldn’t muster up the energy, or some other equally small excuse.

At moments like this it is so hard not to look at my life and feel like maybe I’ve missed something somewhere. If Susan or Eli or Stacey had just a few more days – would they spend them working? Taking care of responsibilities? Or would they smile with their loved ones, maybe go to a park, pick flowers for their bedside table, eat chocolate or watch the sunset. Or maybe something totally different and fun and wonderful – who knows? The point is – they’d probably make joy and love and laughter a pretty high priority. And shouldn’t we all? I’m not saying we should ignore real life and let everything go – but what if work and money and stuff mattered just a little less and life and people and friends and joy mattered just a little bit more?

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Kundalini Yoga – The Secret Shortcut to Joy

Posted on December 1, 2011 by Dr. Amy

Life has been stressful lately – too much to do and too little time, financial obligations all over the place and too little money, resources stretched thin everywhere.  I’ve been hearing about kundalini yoga for years – one of my dearest friends swears by it – but having never been a yoga-type person I’ve always brushed it off as a good idea for some undefined date in the future.  Well – that day has come.

I enrolled in a kundalini foundations class at yoga yoga with some hesitation.  Kundalini, the little I knew about it, is the weird yoga – lots of chanting and panting with nothing nearly so dignified as a ‘warrior pose’ to make you feel properly hip or cool.  Frankly, it’s so yoga it’s a little intimidating.  I slunk into the first class hoping to hide in the back, only to find out it was a tiny class and there would be no hiding.

I really can’t say I knew what to expect, but the class was relatively straight forward.  We started with some warm up exercises that are deliciously simple and nurturing and most of them combine  simple motions like twisting from left to right or bending the spine forward and back with rhythmic breathing. To my vast relief, I found out that most of the class is done with your eyes closed (thank goodness).  After the warm-up the main exercise, called a kriya, is started.  I say exercise but it often includes various breathing activities, physical poses, chanting and meditation.  It’s so much more than just a series of physical activities.  After that there is a final relaxation in which we all lay comfortably on the floor and the instructor (mine is Billy – a kind, generous soul who truly wants to share yoga with the world) plays the gong.  If you’ve never experienced this, I would highly suggest you rush out today and get into your nearest kundalini class because it’s absolutely blissful.

The pre-judgement I had about kundalini being intimidating was my own, silly little construct.  It’s not intimidating at all – in fact it’s the most gentle and nurturing yoga I’ve ever experienced and the classes leave me feeling peaceful, less frantic and more grounded.  I’m also noticing that my moods are more stable through the days that I’m practicing – which is a huge bonus right now.

Kundalini is a type of yoga that emphasizes creating balance, not only in the physical body but also in the mental, emotional and energetic bodies. In short – balance in life. There is no competitive contortionism (as is my complaint with many yoga classes where the first row can all wrap their leg around their waste and look fabulous while the rest of us twitch and sweat in the back row just trying to touch our toes). There is no sense of ‘doing it wrong’ or ‘not being flexible enough.’ In fact, in the classes it seems that all of the teachers go out of their way to emphasize compassion for your body and gentle treatment of your self.  It’s completely refreshing.

See how balanced my chakras are now? :)

I’m finding that I look forward to my next kundalini class, and am trying to sneak classes in almost every day – simply because I feel better when I do.  Happier, more grounded, less stressed.  Not only that, it’s fun – and it’s exercise.  I’m doing something great for me as a whole person and enjoying it – how great is that? Is it the gateway to enlightenment?  I have no idea.  But it’s certainly worth it!

If anyone wants to try a class I was given a hand-full of new student passes that will get you into a class for free so email me if you’d like me to save one for you!

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Giving Thanks on Thanksgiving

Posted on November 26, 2011 by Dr. Amy

These things just go together, right?  So much so that it’s pretty darn near a cliche. And yet there is something in the rhythm of the year that makes this season the perfect time of year for introspection and for reflecting back on the previous year as you get ready for the changes you want to make in the new year.

Happily, gratitude is also showing promising health benefits.  In a new movement called Positive Psychology, gratitude is being shown to promote positive mental health and a positive mental attitude. The whole idea behind Positive Psychology is focusing on the great things in life instead of illness, life stresses or emotional problems. The best thing about it, of course, is that it works.   Just like smiling when you’re down actually elevates your mood in that moment, positive thinking boosts your mood long-term.

So today, for thanksgiving, make a list of the ten things you’re most grateful for in this past year – even if your year, like mine, has been a little bit rocky. Don’t just scratch the surface with the slightly cynical ‘I’m grateful for this bottle of wine’ type.  Really think about it and find the things in your life that truly mean something to you. So – here’s my list.

  1. I’m so grateful that even though this year has been another financially stressful one for so many people (myself included) I have always been able to pay my mortgage and put good food on the table.
  2. I’m thankful that through thick and thin, moves and distance, I have such a fabulous group of friends who love me even when I’m being crazy and who can tell me *when* I’m being crazy. That helps so much.
  3. I’m thankful for all my fabulous patients who try the crazy things like food elimination diets and wet socks  – and most grateful to have the opportunity to help point them in the right direction back to health.  It’s such a gift to share this part of life with people.
  4. I’m ridiculously grateful that I’m finally learning, after 34 long years, to let go of all the little (and big) junk that I can’t control.  There is so much less stress when I stop trying to pretend I can control anything at all.
  5. I’m grateful I made it through the summer from hell, it was touch and go there for a bit.
  6. I’m so happy that after three years of enjoying the project my fixer-upper house is *almost* done!!! Woohoo!
  7. I’m so grateful for all of the people who have helped me with my own health – this year has been a great one for learning more about my body and what it really needs.
  8. I’m so thankful for my yard – I can’t begin to cover how much having a quiet space in which to garden acts as a balm for my soul.
  9. I’m grateful that horses have come back into my life after a long intermission – I loved them as a kid, got away from riding when school got hectic and am only just getting back to it now.  As it turns out, once a horse person always a horse person.
  10. I’m thankful that I’m learning to really understand myself. Funny that we’re always the last ones to see ourselves clearly, and how painful and beautiful that process is.

If pessimism, anxiety or depression are often a part of your life, then a gratitude journal could be a great idea.  Try for 5 things that you’re truly grateful for each day.  Really some days even the little stuff – like ‘I’m grateful I didn’t *actually* lose my cool and toss my phone into the toilet’ – will round out your list nicely.  As you turn your mind towards the wonderful things in your days and in your life a mysterious change happens.  You see more wonderful things and because you’re able to appreciate them they don’t get lost in the problems that inevitably pop up.  Life starts to have more color, more spark, and more joy.  All from a simple little journal and 5 minutes a day.

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